Things to Do on Maternity Leave (That Moms Didn't Regret)

The things club moms were glad they did on maternity leave were small: a walk most days, one outing a day once they felt ready, a few new mom friends, real rest whenever someone else had the baby, and the postpartum checkups they nearly skipped. What they regretted was treating leave like a project, with a renovated nursery, a sourdough habit or a side hustle. This roundup is about the weeks in the middle of leave. For the end of it, see what moms wish they’d known before maternity leave ended.

For your body

1. Go to the postpartum checkups, all of them. The old idea of one six-week check is out of date. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends “contact with a maternal care provider within the first 3 weeks postpartum,” then ongoing care as needed, ending with “a comprehensive postpartum visit no later than 12 weeks after birth.” That visit covers mood, sleep and fatigue, physical recovery and more. ACOG also stresses that it is “not an ‘all-clear’ signal.” If getting there with a baby is what stops you, our guide to taking your baby to your own appointments covers the logistics.

2. Walk, a little, most days. Not exercise, just outside. Ten minutes around the block with the stroller counts. Ask your provider before anything harder.

3. Sleep when someone else has the baby. Not “rest” while folding laundry. Lie down in a dark room. It came up more than anything else when club moms talked about what they wished they had done more of.

4. Eat lunch sitting down at least once a week. It sounds ridiculous until you realize you haven’t in a month.

For your head

5. One outing a day, once you’re ready. A coffee, the library, the grocery store at 10am on a Tuesday. A destination and a reason to get dressed did more for the club’s mood than any self-care list. Our guide to the first outing with a baby makes the first one easier.

6. Find two or three mom friends with babies the same age. Leave is the one time your schedule matches theirs. Baby groups at the library, a postnatal class, the bench at the park at 9am. Our post on how to make mom friends has the opening lines.

7. Read something, one-handed. Contact naps and long feeds are a lot of sitting still. A light e-reader like the Kindle Paperwhite can be held in one hand in a dim room. Audiobooks and podcasts work for walks.

8. Watch the show everyone told you to watch. Without guilt. Night feeds are long.

9. Call one friend a week who doesn’t have kids. It reminds you that you are still a person with opinions about things other than diapers.

10. Let yourself feel bored. Several club moms said the boredom surprised them more than the tiredness. It is not a sign you are doing leave wrong.

For the baby (the fun part, not the homework)

11. Take ordinary photos. The bath, the bad hair, your partner asleep with the baby. The milestone photos happen anyway. The everyday ones are the ones club moms wished they had more of.

12. Do the free things near you. Story time, a mall walk when it’s cold, a walk in the park when it isn’t. Babies don’t need classes to be happy, and you don’t need a schedule to have a good week.

13. Spend time with grandparents on weekdays. If family is local, leave is when long lazy visits are easiest to fit in.

For you, specifically

14. Do one thing that’s just yours each week. A haircut, a swim, an hour in a café alone while your partner or a relative has the baby. Put it in the calendar like an appointment.

15. Write a few lines down. Not a baby book. Just what this week was like. Club moms who did it reread it more than anything else from that year.

What club moms said they could skip

• Big house projects. The nursery doesn’t need finishing, and the garage can wait a year.
• “Productive” leave. A course, a business plan, a career pivot. Some moms want to, and that’s fine. Nobody should feel they have to.
• Paid baby classes you feel guilty about missing. If it’s fun, go. If it feels like homework, stop.
• Keeping up with work email. Unless you’ve agreed to check in, don’t. Your leave is your leave.

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If leave doesn’t feel the way you expected

Plenty of leave is lovely. Some of it isn’t, and that’s common. The AAP’s guide to the baby blues and beyond says mood swings are “very common after giving birth, especially in the first 2 weeks,” and that what separates the blues from postpartum depression “is the length of time you’re suffering and how severely you’re affected.”

If the low mood, worry or numbness hasn’t lifted, tell your OB or midwife. It is one of the things that comprehensive postpartum visit is for, and you don’t have to wait for it. Postpartum Support International’s HelpLine takes calls or texts at 1-800-944-4773 (text “Help”), as listed by the AAP. If you are thinking of harming yourself or your baby, call 911, or call or text 988, which is free, confidential and available 24/7.

FAQ

What should I do on maternity leave? Rest when someone else has the baby, go to your postpartum checkups, walk most days, get out once a day when you feel ready, and find a few mom friends with babies the same age. Skip the big projects.

Is it normal to be bored on maternity leave? Yes. Many club moms were surprised by it. A daily outing and a few mom friends helped more than trying to fill the days with tasks.

When is the postpartum checkup? ACOG recommends contact with your provider within the first 3 weeks after birth and a comprehensive visit no later than 12 weeks. Your provider will set the timing for you.

Should I check work email on maternity leave? Only if you’ve agreed to. Otherwise, a clear out-of-office and a named cover person let you switch off properly.